America Thighs; The Sweet Potato Queens’ Guide to Preserving Your Assets

Dear Jill Conner Browne:

Love the title of your new book. Are those actually your thighs on the cover? How did you preserve them? Have you tried vinegar? Is it true you use all profits from your books for cosmetic surgery on every part of your body? Is it true that you are dating the cutest boy in the world? Can you recommend anyone in Portland to remake my thighs? Can’t wait to get your reply. Love, your best fan who reads every book you’ve written … Judith.

SPQ at Powells

SPQ at Powells

Only 14 days until Jill Conner Browne’s new book drops. I know that term is meant for cd’s but I wanted to use it to sound cool because I never get to write about cd’s. Of course it’s my business so I could write about them if I wanted to I suppose. I digress.

c_0743278380Anywhoo… the new book is entitled “American Thighs – The Sweet Potato Queens’ Guide to Preserving Your Assets.” She is so stinking funny. Gotta love her. She writes that “If I can save one woman from these thighs, I will not have lived in vain.”

Of course she can’t resist saying … “Since to say Youth is wasted on the Young has got to be the understatement of all time …”

Her list of Asset-Preserving Tips reportedly include:

  • Why women have risked their lives just to get a little bit blonder (I can vouch for that … it takes a real woman to leave that bleach on for “just one little minute more”)
  • How the muumuu has been fashionably resurrected as the “patio dress”
  • Why it’s important to always have a good photo of yourself on hand – just in case (so true, so so true)
  • How, no matter what skin you’re in, to make it last a lifetime and …
  • Why you can never trust anyone over eighty-five

Ohhh my. I can hardly wait to read about the dreaded transition from “cute girl” to “ma’am!

We love you ma’am er, I mean Jill Conner Browne.

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